He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
