There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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