Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
