ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
