I must be too annoying 4 u.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
