Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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