Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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