My room smells like vodka and shame
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We were destined to go to rehab together
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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