so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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