I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
