She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
