i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
