we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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