Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize