Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
