I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
