We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
God I need to hump something, right now.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
