just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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