hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
