At least make sure they are 18
Why
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
