So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
