She said her name was "party"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
