You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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