Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if only i could text you this smell
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
