She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
