My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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