Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
