If i come over, it means nothing
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize