I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
