That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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