I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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