i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sorry about my life...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize