The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
