Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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