sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
