Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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