No more Irish car bombs ever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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