Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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