I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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