I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
