Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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