It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize