he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
