its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
