the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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