Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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