I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
