I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
