that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I look better un-naked...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
