butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I bet he comes in French.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
