you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
