He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
