If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
