***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
