So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
