So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
