I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
