but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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