I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
