Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
