people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
