I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We talked him into tasing himself.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
