Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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