Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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