I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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