Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
