Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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